Sunday, June 8, 2008

A Burden

I finally started listing some of my jewelry and I got this nice convo from a wonderful lady saying she had posted these earrings on her blog. She has a really nice blog with tons of Etsy finds. I get so excited when someone notices my little creations. It really makes my day. I also love reading the little comments on the check-out or feedback about how nice everything was. I always doubt myself and my art, thinking it's not good enough when everyone else tells me otherwise. I don't believe them and I think they are just saying it to be nice. I grew up this way being so insecure about myself and everything I make and do, I just don't understand why I do this to myself. I have read many books on living a possitive life, self-improvement and whatever other books they have to help oneself but they have never helped and it's not because I don't open up my mind, I stop myself becuase I don't want any attention. I am the type that will rather hide in a corner than being heard, dont want anybody to notice me and wont speak out even if it's killing me on the inside. I let everyone else walk over me and always say "It's Ok" . I am not the type that wants to be in front of the line but would rather come in 3rd or 4th. I remember for a spelling bee the school was having, their was only me and this other kid and I knew the word and mispelled it just because I didn't want to go to the competition with other schools. See I have never been competitive knowing It's in me but it's my insecurites always stop me.
So even now when I sell on Etsy I get so nervous when I mail out my stuff to a customer because in the back of my mind I already assume they are going to hate it. Rejection doesn't challenge me but makes me hide more in the corner. I have to Thank my family so much for always pushing and helping me telling me it's fine. Take it easy. My husband has been my biggest help always supporting me in every which way he can and he is my biggest critic but I have learned not to take anything personally anymore.
Here I go, I was just going to show some of my new pieces and ended up going a different route but it feels so good to let out something that is a burden. I am not the type that reveals too much about myself even to friends or family but I guess every once in awhile you have to let go of something that really eats at you.
Anyways here is a necklace I wanted to share and some clips that I really made too.In Full Bloom - Vintage Necklace
Japanese Fan - Barrete Clips
Doily Bracelet

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